


Late Goodbye

by little_escapist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Episode: s05e22 Swan Song, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 21:29:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6394558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_escapist/pseuds/little_escapist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a scar on Sam's back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Late Goodbye

There’s a scar on Sam’s back. It’s a straight line, lighter than the skin around it. It’s larger than some scars on Dean’s brother, smaller than others. It’s the one scar Dean despises more than anything.   
That wound was meant to be fatal, that wound was fatal. It cost Dean his everything, and started this damned downward spiral that seems to never end. Well, seemed to never end. Now they can see where the slide is taking them. It’s taking them apart. It’s taking Sam to Hell; it’s undoing everything Dean went through to have his brother by his side. They have reached the final fall, and the only thing left to do is to jump.

Dean never looks at the scar on Sam’s back, never. The memories hurt too much. He still remembers the despair he felt, holding Sam’s body in his arms, screaming his brother’s name into the night, but in his heart knowing the truth. Now his hand inches across the bed and he follows the line of the scar with his finger, gently, just barely touching. Sam shivers.   
“Dean?” 

Dean cannot answer. He’s going to lose his brother again in just some short hours, and he’s not ready. They’re lying in a bed too small for two men their size, but sharing space has never been a problem. Dean is not quite sure how they ended up here. He knows he’s always loved Sam too much, too deeply. Sam has always engulfed everything, or so it seems now. But it had been Sam to kiss him, fierce determination on his face, and Dean had melted into his brother. 

Sam turns around. “Dean, what is it?” The scar is pressed against the bed, hidden from sight, but Dean knows it’s there. There was so much blood, blood on his hands, blood that is now long gone. He never stopped feeling it on his skin.

Dean bites his lip and shakes his head. He has no words. Sam touches his face, softly, like never before. Dean’s brother is so gentle, so kind, and he should not be forced to make this decision. He should not be forced to act out this scene – he should not be the one to take the jump. But Sam will, because he must, and because he can. Because Dean’s brother is a better man than anyone that ever walked this earth. 

Dean’s little brother who begged for Dean’s touch, spread his legs and cradled Dean between them, held Dean close and sobbed his pleasure into Dean’s skin. And Dean gave and took pleasure in his brother, and now they are here. At the end. There’s nothing left to say, nothing left to do.   
“It’s everything”, Dean chokes out at last. He can still feel Sam all around him. He wants to have that forever, and instead this is the one and only time.  
Sam’s mouth twists painfully. “I’m sorry, Dean.”   
“No”, Dean says, the word final. “You should not be sorry. They should be sorry. The fucking world should be sorry that this has to happen. Not you. It’s not your fault that everything is fucked up.”   
“That doesn’t mean I can’t be sorry for you, for us.” Sam’s eyes are dark as they take hold of Dean’s gaze. Dark and full of love, full of that stubbornness Sam had always carries around. They also shine with tears. “Dean, I know you don’t want me to do this. Hell, I don’t want to do this. But there are bigger things out there, bigger and more important than you or me.”   
No, Dean wants to say again. There’s nothing more important than Sam. Nothing, no one. 

He can’t say that, not now, maybe never out loud. So he kisses his brother again, buries his hand in Sam’s hair and holds on. 

He never wants to let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Poets of the Fall song Late Goodbye (such a wincest song, though does not fit into this fic!).
> 
> Comments more than welcome, they'd make my day.


End file.
